Technology is an apparent part of our lifestyle such that its absence will cause a massive chaos in the real world. Today we turn to technology or more specifically, the computer, to not only look for information or for our entertainment, we use it to build bonds and form relationships with people online. Is it safe, you ask?
Computer Mediated Communications (CMC) has definitely allowed us to forge relationships with others and it transcends the boundaries of space and time. No matter where you are, you are able to talk to others online.
Normally, we look for people with similar interests and from there, we get to know each other. So, how do we look for people with the same interests as us? We would obviously enter the sites that we like. For example, gamers proceed to gaming sites and fans of a certain band will go to the band’s fan club page. From there, these people make friends with those that enter said sites Even through the social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter can we locate buddies of similar interests!
I am sure that all of you practice CMC and do have “online friends”. For me, I register in forums and participate actively in the community there. As an avid kpop fan, these forums fulfil my needs to follow the artistes that I like and at the same time, make friends with people that like them too. One such forum that I am actively involved in is the ukissmeSG forum, a place for Singapore fans of U-Kiss, the Korean boy band. Through interacting with the members of the forum, bonds are ultimately forged. In fact, instead of just being friends online, the ukissmeSG family are friends in real life too! Just recently, some of us met to fly kites and just enjoy each other’s company.This, my friends, is an example of an online community formed through CMC, existing in real time. Personally, I do not really have any qualms communicating with people online as honestly, there is only so much that they can do to me.
Despite my own “fairytale” example of online friendships, I still value communications in real life. To me, communications offline are more personal as we see the other person’s expressions while communicating and also hear the tone of their voice. This reduces any chances of miscommunicating. Some may argue that Skype and other webcam-oriented chat sites also enable us to see and hear the other person. But is it personal? Nothing beats face to face communication. I guess frequent meetups allow the ukissmeSG family to be tightly knitted. Like I said, nothing beats face to face communication and here, communicating in reality reinforces our friendship.
Some may question whether it is safe to make friends online. I guess the answer to that is: to each his own. There will never be a clear cut answer to this as different people have differing views on the safety of CMC. As many articles have popped up, a lot of people have been manipulated online and conned into thinking that they are in a relationship with someone when in fact that person was just putting on a façade. So how do we know what’s real and what’s not, when everything on the Internet these days are so grey? What to do you think of making friends online?
I think it depends on what type of community you are in, like in your case, a fanclub with mostly or usually all are girls with ages easily ranging from 12 to 20 or older?
ReplyDeleteLike you, I have no qualms about making friends online, that is, if it's within my fanclub communities. The first time I made online friends was when I was 14? And I met up with them when I was 15, and till today, they remain as some of my closest friends! Even online friends from overseas, when they visit Singapore, I always make it a point to meet up with them, and it definitely feels a lot different than just talking to the person online!
I do agree with you, having face-to-face meet ups reinforces the friendships made online (:
i think its awesome that you were able to find an online community that you could trust and eventually be good friends with :)
ReplyDeletei also think that its probably a little easier to make friends and get to know other people through forums as compared to other online communication platforms. in a forum, there would already be a shared interest, for your case Kpop, ukiss etc so there is already one thing that binds the members together. for online chatrooms, i guess there is a certain risk but i must admit it is an interesting way to meet someone.
I am one who believes that most times, it may be easier to make a friend through online communication.
ReplyDeleteI can understand this point because most of us often face moments of shyness and face difficulty approach strangers to strike up a conversation.
With online communication through social networks, we are always behind the monitor screen and at the comfort of our own homes. We tend to be braver in striking up a conversation topic and bringing out points of view without fear of a judgmental outlook from others. Why? Simply because should anyone pass a judgmental comment, we could always retreat back by turning the monitor off or logging out of the social network.
As convenient as this is, I also believe that we should rely too much on such mediums for communication. Humans require heart to heart and face to face forms of communication. A person who types well will need to learn how to express himself verbally, instead of merely textually.
So, the issue is to find a balance between communicating out of convenience and necessity, and also, the balance between communicating online and face to face, person to person and heart to heart.
The last time I used a CMC to befriend a stranger is by using IRC. Well, I guess that it can be a tool for introverts as they do not need to meet the other party but yet maintaining a friendship. To some, a relationship in cyberspace can be much genuine compared to reality as they do not need to put up a "fake smile" or give "face" to anyone. However, people might also take advantage of the CMC system whereby they lie about themselves in the cyberspace and to have a greater acceptance. I guess there's always pros and cons to everything.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I would like to say that I have no qualms about making friends online. It does get amusing when the older generation brands it as "dangerous", as back in the olden days, they didn't have the Internet and its different platforms to make new friends. Instead, they wrote letters to penpals.
ReplyDeleteMaking friends online has its pros and cons. I have been through interesting experiences with people I have met online. Some of my close friends now, I met online on different forums. I think sometimes, it is easier for us to relate certain issues and stories to people we don't know in real life. Of course, it is not 100% safe. I have, on one occasion, befriended a guy whom I might say, is relatively perverse.
Online friends has allowed for people from all over the world to connect based on their interests. I find this amazing, because like you, I am a kpop fan, and through fan forums and the like, I now know and have close friends from all over the world. These include the Netherlands, USA, South Korea, Philippines etc.
But that all said, nothing beats face-to-face communication. I feel that if the basis is there, an online friendship can progress to be one in real life. This has happened to me on numerous occasions with positive results. It all depends, of course. We all just need to be discerning.
While many people are skeptical about online communication, especially making friends online, I personally think there's nothing wrong with it. However, that said, I still think face-to-face communication is the best form of communication like you said.
ReplyDeleteThrough online communication, it is easy to find people with similar interests, such as that through these forums. Furthermore, you get to meet friends from all over the world.
Online communication can get difficult though, when you can't tell the true feelings of the other party through their words. I guess you have to be careful with dealing with these friendships, especially if you have not met them face-to-face.
I have no problems making friends online, but I will never disclose too much. Afterall, I never know who is sitting behind that screen chatting with me. Despite that, I have met up online friends after much time and consideration. Some of these people have become fairly close friends, who I still keep in touch with, while others have simply faded in oblivion.
ReplyDeleteCMC has no doubt brought about convenience, and also makes us more expressive when communicating online since there is less chance of awkward moments occuring. At the end of the day, it is important not to lose your own identity and become someone you are not.
Your online community outing looks so much fun!!! You must have befriend quite alot of great friends.(:
ReplyDeleteCMC has made connecting with friends much easier than before , now that we electronice device like built in microphone in the laptops and webcam;it allows us to chat with friends online without having to meet up!
However I still prefer the traditional face-to-face communication when compare to using skype. It's just not the same when I'm talking to my friend up-close in reality and seeing them on the screen of my laptop. Just a scenario to think about : What happens when there's the power goes out for a day in the region?! How do you continue chatting with friends through the use of CMC. xp
In my opinion, I do feel that making friends online is easier than the outside world. Due to my shy and quiet personality, I prefer chatting online rather than talking to people in person. However, real life communication is still the best as most true friendship is one in reality, not cyberspace.
ReplyDeleteIt's cool to do meet ups in group etc fanclub/forum. Even if we haven't met before, we still love the same things Usually, people who share the same interests communicate with each other better.
"Nothing beats face to face communication and here, communicating in reality reinforces our friendship." Yes, I agree with that :D
Many people nowadays, I believe, use the terms "acquantaince" and "friend" interchangeably. The difference is stark - personally, I regard acquantainces as people whom you could share a drink or a laugh with, but wouldn't go out of your way to interact with during your leisure time. Many so-called friends made on Facebook should thus be renamed acquantainces according to my definition.
ReplyDeleteAs such, I am highly suspect of claims of friendship made over the internet. A friendship requires a comfort shared between both parties physically and emotionally, manifesting in lower levels of anxiety and self-conciousness. It seems to me that such an intimate bond could only form with, as you have mentioned, face-to-face contact on a regular basis. Subtle nuances of facial expression, voice inflection and body gestures are all inputs of information which are vital to forming a true relationship, which the internet has yet to replicate perfectly.
Using the internet as a precursor to an actual mutual activity between strangers to form friendships is logical. But deriving a true friendship solely from online correspondence is limited at best and delusional at worst.
I believe that when you know your limits to online communication, it makes life a little more exciting.
ReplyDeleteI always thought it to be very exciting to have a 'online' family of friends where you express your thoughts about a particular subject. What's even more beneficial is if you are able to meet up with such 'similar' people in the real world.
Let me give you an example: I was working at Bakerzin some years back. I remember this time when a group of 20 mothers came in with their babies to celebrate an event. I was shocked to see soooo many women with their massive prams.
I asked one of the mums and she told me that these women who were all expecting and due to give birth in a particular month found each other online. They exchanged ideas and shared problems. The celebration was to celebrate one month after the birth of their baby.
I thought it was extremely cool!!!
CMC can be extremely beneficial in that sense.
its undeniable that CMC makes communication an easy and convenient process, i value very much communication away from the computer.
ReplyDeleteif we can spend hours infront of facebook or twitter, why then can't we go out and forge a more meaningful relationship face to face?
Wow it all works out for you unlike for me though, we just sit around a table discussing ways to slay evil dragons around the table while getting disgusted stares from people who cant help but to over hear our conservations. But cmc does have its evil head just think of pedophilia. Go look up Dateline NBC and you will know what i'm talking about.
ReplyDeleteHi im Chris Hansen.
Why dont you take a seat.
For me, CMC is like a reinforcement in a relationship.Though we know them through the net, we still need to see and meet them face-to-face in order to know their true nature.Usually,the people I made friend through online and met up in real world ended up being my best friends.It's a good thing for me as I always stuck with people around my age in school.But we still need to be careful as things doesn't always turn out to be good.
ReplyDeleteonline friendships such as yours foster relationships that has no cultural bonds.
ReplyDeletefor me personally it is through CMC platforms like forums that allow me to get to know international fans and when i forge a friendship with them, it expands the view of my world.
my world involves more than what is physically around me, it also takes into account my virtual friends and what ideas, knowledge i have derived from our discourse
I met you online, so I think all's well! :D
ReplyDeleteIt depends on where we go to, to interact with people. In cases where you're really bored and just wanto to have fun, you go to chatrooms and these places bear risks. Some are willing to take it, some aren't. Forums, on the contrary, are a more safe place to communicate with others imo. Like your example, relationships can be forged through interaction via forums that I think chat rooms can't.
Interesting read! and yes, CMC really has taken control over your life! xD
CMC does effect the way we communicate these days. However, i do agree that face to face communication is cruicial. It is very important, especially when we want to form a relationship. Do not use CMC to replace face to face communication. If that is the case, what will happen to the "human" factor in us as human beings??
ReplyDeleteCMC has its pros and cons,but like what some of the commentators had mentioned,it could be a useful tool for introverts cause they need not interact with the other party in person,and that alone takes away a lot of nervousness and tension,however,there comes the trust issue,nobody knows who you really are,because everyone can be anyone.we might pretend to be another person when in fact our real personality and character differs from that in cyberspace.and im sure everyone have their fair share of meeting someone crazy online.so for me,i personally feel,it depends on we as individuals view CMC,and for us to see whether it has its goods or bads.bt one thing for sure,CMC is here to stay.
ReplyDeleteSo this is what you've been doing in your room whole day? Making friends with whoever online?
ReplyDeleteI guess now I know where you got your sunburns from.
Personally, I value face to face communication more than all these CMC. Yes, technology helps with our communication with other parties but to what extent is it sincere? Unlike you and almost everyone else, I don't own a facebook account or twitter or what have you. I really don't see the point of it. So what if you have so many friends on FB? Does it mean that you're close to all and that you meet them every other day? I don't think so. We maintain relationships and bonds face to face and the technology is just there to ease our communication, not solely rely on it to forge relationships for us.
I really think you should spend more time away from that laptop of yours and socialise! Go get a boyfriend will you?!
I think you should be wary of whoever you talk to online. Trusting all these forums that you join is one thing but trusting the members there too?
ReplyDeleteCMC has obviously dominated our lives and we can't deny the fact that we use it to communicate daily. CMC allowed me to watch all my dramas and kept me updated on what's going on with the actors and the dramas. CMC also allows me to keep track on my children's activities. Like you obviously now, I check FB constantly to see what you've been up to.
Honestly, we can't run away from CMC. BUT we have to use it moderately so as to not affect our real time relationships.
Cool, you like to fly kites! This hobby is picking up again, aren't we glad that Singapore is not that boring after all? Anyway, we are much led by the nose with CMC being so dominant in terms of affecting our style of communication. There is no limit of CMC and it will continue to grow, evolute and turn into something extraordinary in the near future. I'm sure there are people who can make history like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.
ReplyDeletenice post =)
For myself, I enjoy signing up for forums as I am a big fan of kpop. I met new friends all around the world and we learn about each other's country through it. It's fun to have friends across the globe having similar interests as you!
ReplyDeleteBut, I don't enjoy making random strangers a friend through online chats or social sites as it may be dangerous. I rather know people from joining these certain fanclubs/forums rather than through chats only.
And YES, nothing beats face to face communication and here, communicating in reality reinforces our friendship!!